Self Care For Sleep Deprived Mums
-Guest Blog - Natasha Davis | One Sassy Scribe - 25th March 2022 -
This weeks guest blog is from Natasha of One Sassy Scribe her mission is to ‘bridge the gap between the world of woo and a happier you’ and ‘to help people create their own mental health toolkits so that when times get tough they have something to fall back on.’
Natasha sells a range of self care products from mugs to guided meditations, digital books and master classes. You can read more about what Natasha does here.
She also has a free Facebook Group and Instagram page where you will find more brilliant tips!
Now let’s get into Tasha’s tips for sleep deprived Mum’s!
Don’t worry, this isn’t one of those “sleep when the baby sleeps” kind of advice lists. I know you’re tired. I know you’re exhausted. I know you’re trying your best. The last thing you need is unsolicited advice that only works for a few people and just annoys you. Instead, I’m just going to give you some tips on how you can introduce some simple self care in your day even when you’re a sleep deprived parent!
My name is Tasha and I have an 8 year old son, Josh, with my partner of 14 years. I work full time, have a busy family life and run my own business but I have not forgotten how little time I had for self care when Josh was a baby. It’s only since the pandemic hit that I actually upped my self care game and knowing what a difference it’s made to me, I’m hoping I can give you some ideas so that it can help you too!
First things first, it is OK to find raising kids HARD WORK. No book, no course, no advice, no nothing can prepare you for how intense raising another human is. There is so much pressure to be the perfect parent and we have it shoved down our throats from all angles don’t we? Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s hard, everyone finds it hard to some degree and anyone who says otherwise is lying.
So my first tip is to acknowledge when you’re struggling and talk about it. A problem shared is a problem halved could not be more accurate because I remember thinking I was alone in my struggles. It was only when I opened up and told people how hard I was finding it that I realised we all struggle, just in different ways. It made me feel less inferior and more normal. What can be hard is finding that someone you can open up to. There is nothing harder, I’ve found, than having to look someone in the eye and say “I’m finding this really hard”. So if that’s what is stopping you then remember that there’s always more than one way to skin a cat.
● Text someone.
● Email someone.
● Write exactly how you’re feeling into a letter and pass it to someone. Just tell them how you’re feeling and what you need help with.
My second tip is to not forget about yourself and not let others forget about you either. I was totally not prepared to go from being the centre of attention with everyone fawning over me and my bump to being totally ignored once my bundle of joy arrived. It was such a shock to my system because not only was the life I knew and loved gone forever but I also had to deal with feeling invisible. So one thing that I suggest you do from the very beginning is to take time out for you. Even if it’s just an hour every week to have some child free time. Set the expectation that you are important, that you deserve some time to yourself and that you are allowed to be more than just a “parent”. That hour can be spent doing whatever you want. Reading. Having a long bath. Listening to music. Writing. Colouring in. Crafting. Whatever works for you. You don’t have to leave the house either, I know how so many people struggle with separation anxiety so just take yourself off to another room.
My third tip is to enforce that time to yourself indefinitely! Set the expectation early on and stick to it because you don’t just deserve it you NEED it. It’s important to keep hold of who you are outside of your parental responsibilities. Josh is 8 now but every week I try and have a bath in the day time at the weekend. I commandeer the bathroom just for an hour because we’re lucky enough to have a loo downstairs. I have a long soak, listen to an audiobook or podcast and if anyone tries to disturb me they’re marched straight back downstairs! I’ve saved the best tip until last! Finding time to prioritise yourself can be the biggest blocker to doing it in the first place. So instead, tag some self care onto things you already do with habit stacking:
● When you’re waiting for bottles to be made / warmed up, find your nearest window and just focus on what you can see. The colours. The sights. Lose yourself in a mindful minute.
● Whilst you're feeding the baby, listen to a podcast or an audiobook. Wireless headphones are a great way to do this anywhere and without needing your phone right next to you as well.
● When you go outside for some fresh air, make it a mindful walk by putting your phone away and looking for all of the different colours you can see.I know it can sound like it’s something for kids to do and you’re totally right! I do this with Josh all the time as it takes me out of my own head and puts me into the present moment with him.
● When you’re brushing your teeth, look at yourself in the mirror and repeat a positive affirmation to counteract the limiting beliefs you have. Here’s some you can try:
1. Today I am a good parent.
2. I am a good enough parent.
3. I am doing the best I can.
The more you repeat your affirmation, the quicker you’ll believe it! By stacking these things onto activities you already do, it doesn’t feel like such a mammoth task!
Whatever stage you’re at on your parenting journey, these tips may feel impossible right now but I ask, no I BEG you to have an open mind and give them a try because the worst that could happen is that they don’t work for you. But they could just change your life, one little positive step at a time!
The more you repeat your affirmation, the quicker you’ll believe it! By stacking these things onto activities you already do, it doesn’t feel like such a mammoth task!
Whatever stage you’re at on your parenting journey, these tips may feel impossible right now but I ask, no I BEG you to have an open mind and give them a try because the worst that could happen is that they don’t work for you. But they could just change your life, one little positive step at a time!
