Is It Time To Ditch The Dummy?

- Laura Thompson | 11th June 2021 -

The dummy was a life saver when your baby was tiny but now they are getting older and you’re wondering if you need to get rid of it and if you do how on earth you’ll go about that! Let’s talk all things dummies, how you’ll know its time and some tips for saying bye to the dummy for good!

New-borns and dummies

Dummies can be a really helpful tool for new-born babies, the suckling reflex is naturally soothing to your baby and there is even some evidence to suggest that ‘using a dummy when putting a baby down to sleep could reduce the risk of sudden infant death.’ If you are breastfeeding it is recommended that you wait until this is well established before introducing a dummy, usually around 4 weeks old.

New-borns tend to need lots of help when it comes to settling to sleep and so if your baby responds well to a dummy there is absolutely no issue in using one at this age if you would like to (although of course you don’t have to!) Check out more new born sleep tips here.

Older babies and dummies

After around 4 months things change in a babies sleep (Hello 4 month regression! … actually it’s a progression, read more here!)

Essentially at around 4 months our babies are ready to start learning some independent sleep skills and for us to start gradually handing over the reins when it comes to settling to sleep. This means that we need to help our little ones develop settling skills which can be done intuitively and without the need for adult intervention. A baby will not develop the fine motor skills and pincer grip to replace their own dummy until around 8-10 months of age and therefore if they are reliant a dummy to fall asleep and resettle throughout the night they will also be reliant on a caregiver to do that for them.

Even when babies do develop the ability to replace a dummy for themselves this require baby to fully wake, locate the dummy and replace before going back to sleep. So if we can give our little ones the ability to settle to sleep by doing things they can do in a semi – sleepy state they will be able to link sleep cycles far more easily. Simply shuffling around, rolling over and getting themselves comfortable before drifting back off into deeper sleep. This is something we all do probably without even remembering every night!

So when is the best time?

Given everything we’ve just spoken about, the best time to remove the dummy is somewhere around 4-6 months and the NHS recommends you stop giving a dummy by 12 months.

Now please do not panic if your child is much older, it is never too late and I will be sharing some more tips on how in a moment!

The truth is it is just easier the earlier you do this, the less engrained the habit has become and the less aware your little one is.

 How do you ditch the dummy?

1 year and under :

If your baby is under a year old it’s pretty simple …

Step 1 – Get everyone on board

Chat to all your little one’s caregivers; your partner, childcare setting, grandparents, nanny or whoever takes care of your baby! Explain to them what you are doing and why. Make sure they know that your little one is not to be given a dummy.

Step 2 – Throw out all the dummies

I mean get them all out of the house so there is no temptation to reach for one at 2am! If you want to keep one for your baby’s memory box, put it somewhere that is not easily accessible, like in the loft!

Step 3 – Offer your baby extra comfort and reassurance

Depending on just how reliant your baby was on the dummy they may find it difficult to fall asleep for a night or two and there may be some tears. Change is hard for everyone but support your baby through this change and offer them reassurance. Try to offer just as much help as they need, so if your little one normally goes down in the cot with a dummy and falls asleep with no other input from you just try putting them down without a dummy and see what happens. If they appear to need some help from you, start small, it may be that you simply being close by and shushing is enough! Whatever it is your baby needs from you to fall asleep on these first couple of nights is just temporary and you can gradually wean these away too very soon!

*Just a note to say here that you actually probably use this method all the way up to around 18 months or so!

It all depends on your child’s temperament but I have worked with families who have done this successfully with children older than 12 months.*

 Toddlers and Pre-schoolers :

The method for an older child is not dissimilar to that of a baby under 12 months. With toddlers and pre-schoolers you can simply get a little more creative and explain things to them more.

Step 1 – Start dropping the idea into conversation a few days before you start.

This will not necessarily be helpful for all children so please use your judgement about whether your child will respond well to this. For many children it is helpful to say in a very matter of a fact way ‘On Monday we’re saying bye-bye to the dummies’. Be confident when you say this and try not to make it a huge deal! Doing this can help give some children time to get used to idea so it doesn’t feel like it’s been sprung upon them.

Step 2 – Get rid of the dummies!

Follow through with what you said and say ‘bye bye’ to the dummies. There are plenty of ideas out there for creative ways to do this from dummy fairies and trees to leaving them for Father Christmas, that’s totally up to you! You really don’t need to get fancy with it, you could simply just throw them out ceremoniously with your child! Again, do what feels good for your family just make sure they leave the house and your child is super clear they are gone and are not coming back.

Step 3 – Extra Comfort

Like younger babies your older child will likely need a little extra reassurance as they go through this transition. Once they are over a year old you can allow them a small soft toy to sleep with in bed, perhaps they could go out a choose one with you?

They may also need you to stay with them whilst they fall asleep, do just as much as they really need you to and start small! Sitting next to their bed may be enough and after 3 or 4 nights you can gradually move yourself further from the bed and out of the door!

Ditching the dummy can feel like a daunting prospect!

If you would like some 1-1 support and guidance with helping your little one sleep well without a dummy book a free call and let’s chat about how you can get started!